Pushing the Limits

I am not a huge fan of American Idol. In past seasons, I have been known to run away from the television at the very sound of the theme song. My girlfriend, however, is a big fan of the show along with anything else that’s cheesy and (excuse the term) gay on television. So, for the past two nights, kareoke-like sounds have been emitting from the living room. I’m amazed my girl heard anything over the gnashing of my teeth.

With that excuse for watching this show laid out there, I did find some inspiration in watching these people. I wasn’t inspired to start a singing career, you can thank God for that. I was reflecting on my writing. After hearing most of the 24 “chosen ones” sing their little hearts out, it occurred to me that if I were to meet any one of these people, say, at a bar on kareoke night, I would probably compliment them on their talent. But put them all together on a tv show with 30 million people watching, it’s a different story. In comparison with other talented singers, some are better than others.

I did notice a problem that most of these people have. I’m guessing it’s because they don’t regularly sing in a competition. They sang well: their timing was good, their pitch was decent and so on. But they weren’t reaching. They stayed in their vocal comfort zones. I’m no singing coach, but I personally like singers that sound like they are struggling a bit. Maybe they are singing an octave higher than the norm, or the tempo is different from what they are used to; that struggle gives their voice a certain emotional tone.

I tend to like musicians when they are trying to ‘make it’ better than once they become established. When you are trying to do something you’ve never done before, you tend to give it everything thing you’ve got. You are competing with other good artists and that struggle to push the limits makes for some amazing music. It’s adversity that un-locks innate potential.

This brings me around to writing. I’ve had lots of people throughout the years tell me I’m a good writer. I took a college English class several years back and I might as well have been the teaching assistant. They called me the Goodwill Hunting of the English language… very nice. When I took the next Enlgish composition class, the teacher told me I had the potential to be a great writer, if I would just put my mind to it. Yea, that’s the thing… if I would put my mind to it.

I have avoided competition like the plague and I mis-took criticism as someone telling me how or what to write. Which is why I’m not making a living as a writer. I’m making a living as a floundering writer, which is pretty depressing. I haven’t been pushing my ability to the limits, trying things I’ve never done before or allowing my writing to be judged amongst other good writers. Because of all this, I don’t feel I’ve truly released the writing animal within me.

I got kicked out of the house last night for non-stop heckling of American Idol contestants (actually, I just left, much to her relief). I went down to the book store and went straight to the ‘how to write’ section. I grabbed a few books– one on improving narrative, another on improving non-fiction and another for basic mechanics. I decided it’s time to see what I can really do with this ability, even if it means knowing I’m not the best in the land (big deal). As long as I’m better than I was (and making some money at it would be nice), I’ll be happy.